Saturday, May 5, 2012

The Parent Trap

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“The Parent Trap”

The sinister thing about being an overprotective parent is that we often harm the ones we are trying to protect. For the most part that ends up being our children. In “The Parent Trap,” an article in Home Life magazine, Gary Thomas writes about “missing out on the best for fear of the worst.” He also writes that cowardice generates from being selfish, that fear is focusing on what might happen, and how to not be afraid and follow God’s call. You will actually have less to worry about if you quit worrying about these things and progress in life.

We have all seen the domineering parent who will not let their child climb a tree for fear of falling; go skiing for fear of breaking a leg; or even eat certain foods for fear of choking. These parents think they are being a “cautious parent,” but in reality they are depriving and even harming their children. Parents use legitimate concerns as a veil and drive these thoughts to such an extreme that well-being becomes the absolute priority. Cowardice, born of selfishness, seeks to protect the coward first.

When your children are babies you worry about fatal illnesses or high fevers, as toddlers it is the fear of them eating something they found on the floor and choking, in elementary school you fear them being kidnapped, and as teenagers it is drug abuse or premarital sex and unplanned pregnancy. “The fear of ‘what-ifs’ has stopped more good work cold than moral failure has.” Fear focuses so heavily on what might happen that it becomes blind to the good that might result. This method of parenting is not just “short-sightedness; it is pessimistic-sightedness vision obscured by worry and blurred by fear.”

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Cowardice is enticing for anyone who is called to do God’s work. Think of how often God, Jesus, or an angel preceded a call to serve with, “Do not be afraid.” For example, in Matthew 14 7, Jesus says, “Take courage! It is I. Do not be afraid” as He instructs Peter to walk to Him on the water. We are not to have fear of earthly things, only that which God controls. It is not always easy to do as He has instructed us because we will always have our doubts and worries, that is human nature, whether it is about our personal life or our children. Often these situations are in our favor but, because we overreact, in our opinion, we fall short success.

Being selfish, fearful, or unsure are all parts of being human and having children, but it is overcoming these things that will help us to grow in a way that the Lord would have us to, which is often the most difficult part. Sometimes it just takes one opportunity for you to realize that worrying does more bad than good for your children and yourself. Follow Gods instructions, and “Do not be afraid,” He will guide and protect you and your children wherever you are. Do not make your child’s life a “trap.”

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