My Home

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A definition for ``home`` would be where one feels most themselves, or in other words where one can act like the person they feel they are, where they can relax and be confident. This place may or may not be the place where you actually grew up. Personally the place where I feel most myself and the place where I would leave my "head" (the place where I can come back to, to clear my thoughts) would be in the middle of a soccer game. To me playing soccer is the closest to home than anything else.

In my eyes and I hope in others as well, I see myself as an athlete, but more importantly a soccer player. I have been playing in league soccer since the age of 6 and before then, I would play with my brothers. I grew up playing soccer and it seemed to come naturally to me. I now know what is to be expected on the field of play I am comfortable enough to not only say I know how to play but I know the sport. I enjoy it very much and I believe I will forever continue to play.

When I am playing soccer it is like I am in the middle of a dream. For many people, they may not ever live the life they dream, I do every time I step onto the soccer field. I am at the point in my soccer career where thinking is no longer needed; every thing just flows like a stream of water, peaceful, clean and natural. I hope that one day people can look at me the way I look at many other soccer players and say ``She plays soccer as though it is almost an art.`` I am so far from that point but some day I hope to reach my goal and be able to dance with the ball like the professionals can.

Being the captain of my team, I am given the responsibility to show good judgement and sportsmanship, everyone's eye are on me, it feels as though I am their teacher, I am in control and confident. I know what is expected of me and I know what I expect from myself. Yet there are the times when I am not so confident, such as in a big game or in nationals, these are the times when the storm clouds come over me I get scared and I do not know what to expect. These are also the times when I have to raise to the occasion not only for myself but my team. I have to fly above the clouds where the sun shines, and play how I know I can.

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When I had my accident, and I went half blind, nobody thought I would be able to play again. I proved them wrong; I am told that I am a stronger player now than I ever was before. This accident has possibly made me stronger. I love the sport, and I was not ready to give it up over some blindness. When I have the ball at my feet every thing becomes clear, I could still play completely blind if I had to, I know the actions and I barely need my vision to be successful. Rather thinking the accident made me blind, I try to think that it made me be able to look beyond my ``blind spot`` in soccer. I realize now that if I put every thing into what I want, nothing is impossible.

Playing soccer helps clear my thoughts clears my visions and puts things into perspective. It relieves negative energy and stress that is not needed in my life. Coming off the field I feel so clean (yet sweaty too) but clean of negative thoughts, and ideas that are not even of my own. Everyone always comments how I am always smiling on the, field, ``She is having too much fun out there.`` they say. The reason is that I am at peace. I am at home.

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