Change in self

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Through the study of change in self, the concept of changing self can mean a complicated process which often involves a dynamic process of development, but sometimes change in self is triggered by traumatic experiences which can either hinder or hasten this process. This aspect of change is evident in several poems by Gwen Harwood, the film "The Matrix", Peter Goldworthy's novel "Maestro" and the short story "Sky High" by Hannah Robert.

In the poem the "glass jar" the young boy's innocence is usurped when he is introduced to the complexity of the sexual relationship. Harwood's use of music i.e. "score" is to represent a spiritual dimension an emotional world where the boy cannot comprehend and no child can be part of. The persona's inability to comprehend what he had witnesses, added with his fear of night creatures which he tried to dispel by capturing light in a jar " to exorcize monsters that whispering would rise nightly from the intricate wood that ringed his bed" further intensified his horror and loss of innocence and faith.

The use of religious imagery and biblical allusions in the poem; mainly in the 1st and nd stanzas represented the child's faith in the sun i.e. religion. The title itself is a religious term "The Glass Jar", a symbol of innocence. Also the religious term "resurrected" in the last stanza is used to describe that the sun's return is ironic because the child has lost his faith. The boy has experienced a change in self as a result of his confronting experience and has changed from innocent and naïve child growing to understand and accept what life entails.

Harwood's poem "Father and child" also sees a change in self of the narrator which is triggered by a traumatic experience.The pivotal point in the first section 'Barn owl" begins in the fourth stanza of the poem i.e. the killing of the bird, where the persona loses their innocence and is abruptly initiated into the world of death and responsibility. The section makes use of vivid and desciptive language to display the destruction of the bird. The short and abrupt sentences " my first shot struck" and the use of plosive letters such as 'b' and 'd' in the words "bundle", 'dropped" and "dribbled" imitated the action of the dying bird and the shock and horror experienced by the child.

Contrast to the 1st section "Barn owl" the nd section "Nightfall" presents the narrator, now a mature adult with the prospect of losing their father and contrastingly has a calmer acceptance of death. The subdued tone of language of "nightfall"- "we stand in time long promised land" reflects the inevitability of death and an acceptance of death.

The father's change in attitude towards life represents the cycle of life " your face is grown to an ancient innocence" is an oxymoron. It shows that towards the end of his life there seems to be a greater appreciation and innocence in the father's attitude towards life, much like a child. The literary allusion to King Lear- "Ripeness is plainly all" and "Old king, your marvelous journey's done" also shows the cyclical nature of life and greater appreciation of life.

Like "The Glass jar" whose rhyme scheme of ABBACC represents an elaborate ritualistic pattern of life, the rhyme in "father and child" is not apparent, due to the fact that the poem is a narrative. The rhyme scheme ABABCC flows throughout the whole poem but in the nd section "Nightfall" the first few stanzas have half rhymes "home/come" and "taste/last" which contrast with the certainty and simplicity of the full rhymes seen throughout the first section.

The changing self of the narrator is from innocent child faced with the horror and realization of death to mature compassionate adult with a calm acceptance of life and death.

In the film " The Matrix" the protagonist Neo experiences a dramatic change in self as a result of being exposed to his AI controlled world, which abruptly reveals his destiny and full potential.

Similar to harwood's poem "The Glass Jar" religious imagery and biblical illusions feature extensively throughout the film. Neo, meaning new is an anagram for one ' the chosen one" like Jesus was the chosen one in the bible. Biblically Jesus is preceded by John the Baptist and in the Matrix the forerunner is Morpheus.

Morpheus is the one who most believes in Neo and his destiny even before Neo could comprehend his situation. "I don't know how this is going to end, but I know how it is going to begin." In Greek mythology, Morpheus is also the name of the God of Dreams. It is in the dream state where Neo fights all the battles with the AI.

After being killed in the Matrix by the AI, Neo is resurrected by the love of a fellow warrior Trinity and experiences a sudden change in self as he assumes the power and destiny that the Oracle had prophesised. "I'm going to show these people a world you didn't want them to see, a world without you, a world where anything is possible."

Contrast to the dynamic effect that the traumatic experiences had on Neo's development, in Peter Goldworthy's "Maestro" the maestro himself herr Eduard keller's process of personal development is negatively impacted as a consequence of the atrocities of the Holocaust.

Keller's change in self as a consequence of his experiences during the Holocaust is clearly expressed through the theme of music. For keller music was his entire life and as a result he cut off one of his fingers and vowed never to play again. When he does play it is with bitterness and "angry broken singing", keller "loved the romantics" henisch remembered but paul recalls that he used to call Romantic composition "music that film stars kiss to". This contradiction is explained by the fact that keller became very bitter about life after the horrors of war so he no longer believed in his romantic ideals.

The negative impact of change is also conveyed in the short story "Sky High" by Hannah Robert. Sky High is written in 1st person and is about a middle aged woman's personal reflection on childhood experiences.

The 1st paragraph is a recount of her youth, her description of a washing line- "silver skeletal arms" is an alliteration which represents the richness of her youth. The washing line is symbolic of her freedom and youth and represents the change in attitude toward life.

Contrast to the 1st paragraph the last paragraph is written in present tense which makes the images more vivid and resonate in the responder's mind. The assonance "age warped washing line" shows how tedious and boring her life has become- "…the line etched story of her life in scars and wrinkles, easily touch sagging wires." The juxtoposition of the 1st paragraph against the last further emphasizes her dramatic change in self and that

change i.e. aging is a negative aspect of personal development.

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