Why Get Married?

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Why get married? A very good question, todays current culture doesnt frown on common law arrangements any more, so that wasnt a factor. Some couples even have children out of wedlock and in certain circles that isnt considered scandalous any more either. First, it will help to know what marriage is. Marriage is a commitment. It is an allegiance bonding two into one flesh; not depend on whether you have good times or bad times together. One is still married through sickness or health, the commitment remains. No matter what happens through the years, two are married 'until death do you part.'

First there are the symbolic reasons for two to get married, humans are affected by symbolism and ritual. Otherwise, how could religious or artistic performances engender an emotional response? So, getting married in front of our friends and family is a symbolic statement for many people, and that it shows commitment of two people for the long term; that a couple are no longer just dating any more; it is a symbol of "eternal" commitment. That two are intending to spend the rest of their lives together. Theres no greater compliment that a person can give you, no greater gift, than giving you the rest of their lives.

Also, what if a couple what to have children together? It would be comfortable with having them outside of wedlock. Sure, some of that is due to social conditioning and we realize that, but there were also practical considerations. Why should someone have to bear children without being willing to openly express my commitment to a long term arrangement with her? Then there are the children themselves, shouldnt they have as secure a family structure as possible? Sure, a common law or single parent household can work, but a loving married couple as the parents of children works best. Are these emotional reasons? Yes, of course, look at what is being talked about here! Marriage can be and should be a very emotional event, and commitment.

Christian culture has ideas about why we should or should not get married. These ideas are said to be wise, and it is believed that they are, but it that some of them are not balanced by the explicit biblical perspective on marriage. But wisdom should not be ignored, because it is often founded in a concern to protect us from our fleshy, impatient desires. First, most Christian's say that being alone is not a good reason to get married. It is better to suck it up, rely on God and deal with it. But consider that the Bible's first marriage, and indeed when God himself institutes marriage, it is to cure loneliness.

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The LORD God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the mans ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

(Gen. 18-5 NIV).

Second, most Christian's said it is not good to marry because you can't control your sexual passion. It is hesitant to say than it is, except that it comes from God's Word, but Paul says, "Since there is so much immorality, each man should have, his own wife, and each woman her own husband" (1 Cor. 7). But if two cannot control themselves they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

This second example goes against the common idea that God has picked out one specific person for each Christian and we need to wait on God, until God brings him or her along, and not take initiative to find the person. It puts the decision to marry in a much more mundane light, not a spiritual light. It leaves the decision up to the Christian in absence of a direct command from God, of course. Not saying that we should marry because were desperate or marry solely for sex. Motivation and patience do play an important role. My purpose is merely to point out a discrepancy between modern Christian culture and the biblical perspective. Perhaps we should not degrade the desire for companionship, or even sex, as much as we have.

As well, Women want to get married. In a recent government survey showed that single women in their 0s are least likely to think that marrying and having children is better than staying single. According to seven matchmaking agencies and seven singles interviewed, women in their 0s do want to get hitched. It showed that about 80 per cent of single women in their 0s thought marrying were better than staying single, but the proportion dropped to 48 per cent for those in their 0s. And, while 88 per cent of single women in there 0s feel that married couples should have children, and only half of the woman in their 0s thought the same.

One last consideration was legal. People may want to have joint expenses, possessions and commitments, eventually get a house of our own, instead of renting an apartment, and we felt that being a legally bound couple would make this easier and simpler to manage. It is know that married couples have better credit that single people. Example, credit card companies will give a greater limit to those that are married. Also, legally married couples often have more privileges than common law couples. For instance, some hospitals will let spouses follow along in certain situations during certain types of surgery, visiting after hours, etc; that they may not always grant to just couples.

Its true, though, that the percentage of Americans who arent married has been increasing since about 160, but the rate of single-hood is by no means unprecedented. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a higher percentage of women are unmarried, 48%, than men, 44%. Most unmarried people would like to be married, but havent found the right person yet, or know that the time isnt right. Many others are happily single, or in long-term unmarried relationships. People are delaying marriage more, but the change isnt as dramatic as most people think. The average age at marriage dropped artificially low in the 150s and 160s men were marrying at and women at 0. In 18, it was only slightly higher, 7 for men and 5 for women.

Children is another thing, one in three babies is born to unmarried parents today. But these arent necessarily single mothers, which is how theyre often discussed. Forty percent of these unmarried births are to cohabiting unmarried couple's two-parent households who are single only in the legal sense.

Why has unmarried by choice become an increasingly attractive lifestyle option? Partly its just because women no longer need husbands to support them, and men no longer need wives to cook and clean. Since being married is no longer required for survival, its become optional. People today have high standards when it comes to marriage! We may be less likely to settle for an unsatisfying relationship, and more likely to leave a marriage that isnt working. Today there are lots of reasons people in committed relationships dont get married. Some women dont want to be wives, and would rather be partners. Some have had horrible experiences with divorce and dont want to risk that again. Some people would lose significant financial benefits if they married, like senior citizens who can lose a pension from a deceased spouse. Commitment and marriage often go together, but not always. Of course, there are married couples who arent very committed, and whose unions dont last long. And there are also unmarried partners whose relationships last many decades, who are as committed as the most loving married pair.

We need to learn to understand marriage and commitment as existing separately from each other, sometimes going together, sometimes not. But marriage is a necessity for most people, even though, marriage is not for everyone. The Bible, in the book of Genesis, makes it clear that humans where made for companionship. Marriage is a symbolic form of companionship, but there are other forms of it as well. Even though some people want to live a single live, not having to commit his life to another, but it should be an idea that every one ought to give thought. No one should just ran and jump into marriage. Marriage is a long term commitment. Albeit, people not think it marriage is a long term vow; it seems like a 'joke' to them. Fear of a bad relation and divorce are strong deterrents for marriage today, but if people take more time in choosing a mate there will not be as high of a divorce rate. For the people that can't, even then, seem to be able to find a proper mate to marry, then a single life may be optimal. But marriage is an idea that everyone should give thought and to put effort towards.

So, why get married? There are many reasons, as listed above. Marriage is symbolic sign of commitment, and love for one another. It is the best way to show ultimate love for a special other. Schnarch, David. Passionate Marriage Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally

Committed Relationships. New York Henry Holt, May 18

"He includes fascinating and inspiring examples from his own marriage. he dares to present it as a work in progress rather than a fait accompli, which enhances, not undermines, his marriage. While giving the reason why he was right in marrying his wife."

Gottman, John M. and Silver, Nan. Why Marriages Succeed or Fail And How You

Can Make Yours Last. New York Fireside, June 15

"This book is based on scientific studies of how couples actually fight rather than on any generalized theory of categorizing types. By reading his analysis I was able to see how dysfunctional interactions contributed to the breakup of my marriage and I was able to retrain myself in communication methods. This new, more aware way of communicating has worked wonders in my new relationship."

Perkel, Marc. Dont Get Married!. Monday, December nd, 00

http//www.perkel.com/pbl/married/

"A man's Story of a marriage gone bad. He tell what when wrong, and why. Also giving his strong point of view on why Marriage is a 'con'."

Lariscy, Randy. Why Should Anyone Get Married?. Copyright 1, Monday,

December 0, 00.

http//wordtruth.com/gen_b.htm

"This site give strong Biblical reasons why it is good for a man and woman to get married. The author gives many Biblical refinances as well as personal opinion on why man should get married to a woman."

WHAT MAKES A MAN MARRY?. March 0, 1. Woman's Own. Monday,

December 0, 00.

http//www.womansown.com/backissues/april/marry.htm

"Random male and female writers give there ideas on why men want to join in wedlock with a woman. The site hits on topics of love, compaction, and family."

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