Equality in Relationships

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Throughout our lives we see many relationships get started up, and at the same time we witness the breaking up of these relationships. Trust, communication, equality, and respect become key factors essential to a relationship, positioned in your way of thought in ways like parents, school, church, TV, friends, self experience and more. Equality is the one thing that at times, voluntarily or not, gets pushed out of sight giving way to specific gender roles. More harmful than not, is how these inscribed roles can be the cause to end a relationship.

In the article "Who's Cheap?" Adair Lara speaks of how while women have the desire to be treated equally to men, they associate men as the ones responsible for taking care of the economical part of the relationship. Adair doesn't agree to this idea, and she goes through her reading showing and poising examples on how this is a double standard. At a time, I found myself involved in this false notion of being a gentleman, and sought for a high maintenance relationship, and a girl that would want me buying her whatever she wanted. This whole idea and belief was reorganized when I met a girl, a very independent girl.

Her name was Jalena, and before her I had never been asked out on a date, yet alone have a girl pay for my movie ticket, dinner tab, and have her also be the driver. Overcoming that initial uncomfortable feeling was an overwhelming feeling that fulfilled, and came over me. In the opposite sex situation, Adair has a "bracing encounter with her own values" (6) when her friend Danny tells her "As a woman, you are so genetically precious that you deserve

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attention just because you grace the planet. So, of course, he should buy you drinks, He should also drive the car, open the door, ask you to dance, coax you to bed. And then when you feel properly pampered, you can let out that little whine about how he doesn't treat you as an equal." (6) Through this experience Adair should not completely disregard men of doing things for her, but at the same time consider taking part in these kinds of things for it would strengthen the relationship.

The "double standard" (5) of the male having to pay for everything surely is the mind set of many females, but you find yourself asking where did equality go running off to this time? This was exactly the case in a more resent relationship of mine; not that I now dread paying for a date, and thus why the relationship did not work, but when this double standard took its place in our relationship, it gradually ended it. Adair's Friend Skye "…broke up with her boyfriend because when they went to the movies he doled out M&Ms to her one at a time." (6) Sure, maybe he should have been giving her hand fills, or even giving them to her in her mouth. But I did not read of Skye ever giving him M&Ms, or doing any relative kind of favors for him.

So should the wellbeing of a relationship in the sense of equality be the responsibility of the male? I cohere with no, and as times change, and women seek equality amongst the world, a sense of equality amongst relationships should also be found. This has already been seen to take its toll amongst the newer generations, and it will not be long until it is seen as essential for a relationship, and the old ways become irrelevant.

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